~ S i n g ~ F o r ~ A b s o l u t i o n ~

Thu, 03 Jul 2008 22:50:44 GMT

MOVING!

Thats right, kids. I'm ditching this journal, or at least, you won't see me posting here. I'll still keep it open, for watching music and icon comms, but if you want to actually read my rants, ravings, and flat out bitchings, you're gonna have to look somewhere else. But where?

To find out, post a comment- all comments are screened for this entry- post, and I'll pass judgement.

Its not that I haet you, its just that this journal has too much shit for me to clean out without dying of frustration or depression.

Binxy~

Sat, 20 May 2006 16:34:27 GMT

What type of Pokemon are You?

W00t! your a fantastic Psychic type! What a wonderful specimen you are! Your inner psychic powers are enough to intimidate the largest foes! You make friends so easily and can communicate alot without saying a word. You attract unnecessary attention, but in the end, you dont mind.
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Blurf

Sat, 20 May 2006 01:01:30 GMT

Despite more angst and problems with Janky-ass sister, I don't got much to update over. :3 I have a meme for y'all tho. :3

Meme:

Why am I on your Friends List?

Answer and post this in your journal.

squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegasm

Fri, 14 Apr 2006 18:03:29 GMT

Hyde-kun is gonna have a concert at the House of Blues in Anaheim!

Tickets are hella cheap, and if I can get someone with a car to go with me....

*DIES FROM SQUEEGASMING*

Until the next life

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 17:43:00 GMT

I have decided to quit the following.....

*Writing Fics

*Role playing

*Smut

*Caffiene

*Satanism

*Carbs

*Anything else that I really enjoy

I have found God. And he has told me to do so.

Lah.

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 23:38:20 GMT

Sleep is overrated.

Or at least, to Amber, letting Hiashi get any sleep was overrated. She couldn't help herself. Just seeing him laying there, so peaceful...

...and so very vulnerable.

******

It was after one of his late night performances, that Hiashi came home to find Amber already asleep in their bed. A grin spread across his face, as he carefully sat on the bed next to her.

******************

The next morning Amber awoke to find that she had been stripped of her pajamas, and there were slight marks from bites and kisses on her neck, breasts, and thighs. She felt deliciously sore.

But Hiashi wasn't there next to her. The smells of a cooking breakfast were in the air. She looked for her pajamas, only to find that they weren't there. So she pulled on one of Hiashi's shirts, and wandered towards the kitchen.

Hiashi was cooking as she entered the room. He just grinned and thought to himself, as she gave him a hug from behind.

Revenge. A dish normally served cold, unless its in a warm bed...

Lose Hope, All Ye Who Enter

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 02:01:05 GMT

Thats right Bitches. From here on in, its Pallys Onlys. I'm gonna keep meh fics open to all tho.

Comment to possibly be added.

Pets

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 06:00:58 GMT

Through Her Eyes

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 01:13:39 GMT

Machiko's father despised almost everyone that tried to be kind to his daughter. So when Machiko announced that her 'best friend' would be coming to live with them, he objected. That is, to say, putting it lightly.

"DAMN YOU! YOU CAN SEE THAT SHE CAN LIVE BY HERSELF!"

Machiko spoke quietly. "No one can live completely alone, Father."

"ITS NOT LIKE YOU CAN EVEN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF! WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT YOU COULD POSSIBLY 'TAKE CARE' OF ANOTHER!?"

Machiko spoke quietly. "I know that I am not capable of doing everything on my own. We can help each other, Father."

"JUST MAKE HER DIE! THAT STUPID, WEAK, PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A BIRD...SHE'S A WHORE, A SLUT! SHE'S BEEN SLEEPING AROUND FOR YEARS, FAR MORE THAN ANY CHEAP PROSTITUTE! SHE'S PROBABLY GOT MORE DISEASES IN HER THAN A HOSPITAL! SHE'S SICKENING, DISGUSTING, THE WORST SORT POSSIBLE!"

Machiko spoke quietly. "The people from her past killed her. She did not want any of that attention. It was rape, pure and simple. Those people are the sickening, disgusting ones, they're the worst sort possible, Father."

"YOU CLAIM TO WANT HER NEAR!? IF YOU COULD SEE, THEN YOU'D SHOVE HER AWAY! SHE'S A SCRAWNY, SCAR-COVERED WRETCH! YOU CAN SEE HER DAMNED RIBS, WHEN SHE MOVES! AND SHE'S NOT 'BETTER'! SHE'S BEEN CUTTING HERSELF, AND I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT SHE'LL ACTUALLY KILL HERSELF THIS TIME!"

Machiko paused before speaking again. "I don't need to see her. I know more about her, by not seeing. She may appear that way to you, but she has a beautiful heart. She isn't strong enough to face everything. Nobody is. Everyone has they're own way of trying to cope, Father."

As the father and daughter argued, their main topic stood in the hallway. Chidori could only hear his words. As his voice grew louder and louder, Chidori became more terrified. She slowly opened the door, wanting to see if Machiko had been lying about protecting her.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!?"

As he drew his arm back to hit Machiko, Chidori made up her mind. She ran in, and covered Machiko with her own body. She looked up at him, completely terrified. "D-don't...hit M-machiko-s-san.."

He just glared at the small girl, and hit her instead. He walked out of the room, glaring at them.

Machiko heard Chidori's voice, felt her trembling, and the force of the slap, and gasped. "Ch-chi-san!? Are you alright!?"

Chidori winced as she smiled. "You defended me. I've gone through worse, for lesser causes."

On Fire

Sat, 26 Nov 2005 00:43:19 GMT

In the Sohma family, it was common for two distant cousins to fall in love and have a family. One such loving couple was Sohma Chidori, and Sohma Kyougo. They had been married for only a few months, when they found out that they were going to have a baby.

Now, Chidori was never a strong person physically. Her body was just too frail to have a child. But she wanted to bring her little girl into the world, no matter what. She lived long enough to say, "My baby...Tsukasa..."

Kyougo was devastated. His beloved Chidori, was gone. They hadn't even been married for a year. But the real tragedy was to come when he held Tsukasa for the first time. His baby girl, the splitting image of her mother, was replaced by a weakly barking black puppy.

In that moment, he hated the demon who took his Chidori from him.

*********

As Tsukasa grew, so did Kyougo's hatred. He had never been particularly close to any of his family, so he was almost forced to keep Tsukasa alive. At least long enough so that he could extract his revenge on the dog-demon.

Once she was old enough to start speaking, he started to make that poor childs life hell. Since she could turn into a dog, he started to treat her like one. Eventually, he had Tsukasa eating dog food, wearing a collar and harness, and sleeping in a doghouse.

This went on from the time that she was three, until she turned seven.

One of their neighbors had seen Kyougo forcing a naked little girl, with long, unkempt hair into a far too small doghouse. They called the authorities, and had Tsukasa taken from him.

After being treated like an animal for most of her life, she was scared like one. She wouldn't speak, and would just sit in the corner of her room at the foster home. No one would take the feral girl in.

Then they found one of Chidori's cousins, who had a cursed son, two years older than the girl. Chidori seemed to trust them, which was a good sign. So it was decided that Tsukasa would go to stay with her mothers cousin, and be raised as a younger sister to their son, Kohaku.

********

Things were hard on Tsukasa at first. She didn't know even the basic things that a person needed to survive. It was like she was an infant again, and had to learn everything. But luckily for everyone, she was a fast learner.

But one thing that she insisted on was wearing a collar.

"I don't care you think its bad. I wanna remember where I'm from."

That was the only thing from her past, other than her name that she kept. She cut off her long and scraggly hair, to about chin-length. She didn't have much clothes to begin with, but started to develop a penchant for darker colors. She was completely unrecognisable from the 'demon' that she once was.

And then it came time for her first real birthday...

Through Her Eyes

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 03:13:19 GMT

Even though she woke up, Chidori still wasn't really awake. She'd stare at something, and would fixate on it. More often than usual, it was a person in the room. She would lay there, her dark eyes almost unblinking.

It was on one such occasion, that she picked Minami to stare at.

For some reason that no one knew, Minami had been scared of Chidori almost since her hospitalization. She would hide behind Kane and Ichi whenever she had to be near the older girl. They were lost as to why, but let her hide all the same.

So it came as a shock, when Chidori spoke to the scared girl.

"Minami-san...I'm sorry for scaring you."

Ichi just looked back and forth at the two, completely and utterly confused. Machiko and Kane just shrugged. Minami peeked out from behind Kane, and stuttered, "I-Its a-alright..."

****

With time, Chidori began to show signs of improvement...

That is, so long as Machiko was near.

Whenever Machiko wasn't there, Chidori would revert back to her old self. Silent and scared, trying her hardest to fall back into her reality escaping sleep. But the instant Machiko walked through that door, Chidori would snap back to reality, and almost cling to the family head.

The family began to soon see that Machiko was starting to depend on the more fragile girl as well.

So it came as no surprise when Machiko decided to have Chidori come live with her, once she was well enough to be safely discharged.

Nobody had any arguements, other than Machiko's father.

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 04:39:03 GMT

Leave a comment, and I will comment with a picture of the anime character that most reminds me of you. Then post the same in your journal, if you'd please. ^^

*****

So yeah. Been a while, no?

No longer sick, but dreading tomorrow. We get my niece from Friday til the Sunday after Thanksgiving. Which means nothing but 'Titi, Titi....' ><

Writers block is still a bitch. I swear to what ever the hell y'all believe in that I WILL have some form of Rin and Haru fic posted soon.

As such, if theres something you want to see of them fic wise, tell me, please! Maybe requests will be the kick in the ass I need...

The New Home of Veggies Basket and Curse of the Zodiac

Embrace Your Inner Bishie

Ya know alllllll those stories I write? Heres where they're from...

Through Her Eyes

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 02:13:50 GMT

It was later in that same day when Machiko made up her mind. She chose to wait until Ichi, Irisa, and Kane were gone, before starting her plan.

"If Prince Charming won't come save her, then I will..."

She sat by Chidori's bed, and carefully ran a hand over her face. She's gotten thin...I'll just have to fix that! But still...even as she is...she's beautiful...

Machiko blushed, as she carefully leaned over. "Please let this work..." She gently kissed Chidori, near tears. "Please wake up..."

She sat back in her seat, and listened for sounds of movement.

Nothing.

Machiko started to cry harder, and put her head on Chidori's stomach.

"I thought I told you to go away...Why are you still here? I'm not worth your time..."

Chidori sleepily put a hand on Machiko's head, and had spoken in a rusty voice.

Machiko smiled, as she looked in the direction of the girls face. "You're definately worth more than just my time, Chidori-san."

Chidori started to cry, but this time, didn't fall asleep.

Through Her Eyes

Sat, 12 Nov 2005 02:30:38 GMT

After Chidori had cried herself to sleep in Machiko's arms, she didn't wake up for quite some time. No one knew why. But they all had their suspicions.

The most popular theory was that Chidori was just trying to avoid reality. 'If she stays asleep, its like dying in a sense. She won't have to face the things that have happened to her...'

But Machiko just believed that Chidori needed to rest. Once she slept long enough to feel better, she would wake up. Or so she hoped.

During that whole time, Machiko was reluctant to leave Chidori's side. She wanted to be there when Chidori woke up. The only times that Machiko left were when she absolutely had to, and even then, she was more often than not, forced.

It was on coming back from one of those occasions, when she heard Irisa and Ichi's voices. Kane was also in the room, but was staying silent. Irisa was reading from a book out loud.

"...Sleeping Beauty pricked her finger on the spindel of the spinning wheel, and fell asleep, as foretold. Her Fairy Godmother's then put all the inhabitants of the castle to sleep, only to ever awaken when Sleeping Beauty did...

"Thorns grew around the castle, almost as if preventing anyone to even attempt going near the slumbering maiden. However, a young and valiant prince chose to brave the thorns, to try and reach Sleeping Beauty. He slowly forced his way through, ignoring the cuts from the sharpness. Then he reached the dark fairy who had placed the curse on Sleeping Beauty.

"The fairy turned into a vicious dragon, determined to strike down the Prince. A tumultuous battle ensued between the two, good and evil. But good always triumphs over evil. The fairy fell, leaving a black stain of her evil where she once lay.

"The Prince then opened the castle gates, running up the stairs to the tower where Sleeping Beauty lay prisoner. He opened the door to her chamber, to see that she was still as beautiful as the day she fell asleep. He slowly walked towards her, entranced by her. He carefully sat upon the edge of her bed, and leaned towards her. And with a kiss, she awoke.

"The two lived in their castle, amongst its people, happily ever after."

Machiko had started to cry. "Its her." The others looked shocked, as they saw their Goddess cry. "Machiko-sama...what are you talking about?"

She then looked in the general direction of where Chidori lay asleep. "She's sleeping beauty. Her heart of hearts. The castle is the walls that she's built around it. The thorns are there to protect herself from the things and people that would hurt her..."

As Machiko spoke, Irisa began to cry. Kane just held her close, and tried to calm her down. Ichi looked sadly at Machiko, and spoke in a quiet voice.

"Prince Charming won't come for her, will he? He's too scared to brave the thorns."

Through Her Eyes

Wed, 09 Nov 2005 01:20:21 GMT

After that, each day was the same. Machiko would come and sit in Chidori's room, and Chidori would try her hardest to ignore her. But as she soon found, it was not an easy task.

"Are you feeling better yet, Chidori-san?"

No response.

"Is there anything you want, Chidori-san?"

Still no response.

"Is there anything I can do for you, Chidori-san?"

"You can go away."

A response. Not what Machiko exactly wanted to hear, but she would take what she could get. After three days of asking questions, 'You can go away' was the first thing that Chidori had spoken.

Machiko just grinned. "Nope!"

Chidori sighed, and rolled onto her side, so that she wouldn't have to face Machiko. She quietly started to cry, not making a single sound.

Or so she thought.

Machiko then reached over, and gently put her hand on Chidori's shoulder. "Its alright, Chidori-san. Things will get better for you. I promise."

Chidori then turned back to face Machiko, now openly sobbing. She flung her arms around Machiko's neck, and held on for dear life.

Machiko just held the devastated girl close, and rubbed her back soothingly. "Shhhhhh...Its alright...I won't let ANYTHING happen to you ever again...You don't have to be so afraid all the time...I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you then. But this time will be different..."

Through Her Eyes

Tue, 08 Nov 2005 05:43:48 GMT

It wasn't much long after that day, when Chidori reached her breaking point. She had been used for the last time, whether anyone liked it or not. So after her stepfather tried to force himself on her that night, Chidori decided to end it all.

She filled up the bathtub, and lowered her bruised and scarred body into it. Her ribs could clearly be seen, standing out against her pale skin. She reached for the razorblade that she had hidden, and stared at it almost lovingly.

"Please forgive me, but I won't be home again..."

She brought the blade down, tearing her wrists open. She couldn't feel anything. She didn't hear anything. All she could focus on was watching her blood dye the water pink...then steadily a darker red. Things started to get blurry, when her mother walked in.

****

Fate works in mysterious ways. More often than not, those ways can be cruel.

When Machiko heard that the Bird of the family had been hospitalised, she couldn't help but rush to see him or her. As she listened to the doctor speak, a terrible feeling started to grow in her chest and stomach.

"The young miss is very lucky that her mother found her. However, it was clearly a serious suicide attempt, and she does not appriciate being saved. We've had to sedate her multiple times since she came out of the reconstructive surgery for her damaged wrists. Physically, she'll be fine soon. Mentally is another case. Something is clearly broken, and I am not capable of...fixing her. I'm having her transferred to the mental health unit later in the day. She can have visitors, but only one at a time, with supervision."

Machiko and her maid carefully walked to where the Bird was. They sat outside of the door, waiting for whoever was inside to come out.

"Machiko-sama? Are you here to see Neesan?"

Kaname came out of the room, looking more tired than he had ever been. Machiko had a worried look on her face, as she spoke to him.

"Neesan? Kana-kun, is that your sister in there? Your sister is the Bird? I never knew you had someone close like a sister...I'm sorry..."

Kaname looked shock, as he stared. "Machiko-sama...the person in there is my real elder sister. Sohma Chidori, the Bird."

Machiko blinked in shock. She didn't say a word, as she stumbled into the room. "Are you...really? Chi-san? Is it really you?"

Chidori shot a blank stare at Machiko. "You too...you too...Why now? It was you...you told them to save me, didn't you?"

Machiko slowly became upset as she spoke to Chidori. "Chi-san...we want you to live! Things would be so sad without you! Please don't go..."

Chidori let out a cry of despair. "I don't want to keep living, God damn it! Who the hell let you, let anyone decide if I was going to live or die! Its my choice! Its mine, and I don't want to live this way!"

Chidori then screamed, "NO ONE WILL MISS ME! YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TRYING TO SAVE ME FROM HIM! DON'T SAY THAT YOU'D BE SAD IF I WAS GONE! ITS A LIE! ITS ALL A LIE!"

Her screaming forced the nurse inside the room to call for assistance. Machiko listened in horror as Chidori screamed at the top of her lungs, trying to keep from having to take the sedative. A nurse carefully took Machiko outside. Kaname watched Machiko cry as they listened to Chidori's screams.

Nostalgia

Sun, 06 Nov 2005 02:21:10 GMT

Irisa is mine. Other characters mentioned belong to the Roleplayers at Next Generation. Kiss the grits, steal and die.

I've been walking alone for so long. I've forgotten how to tell others what I want, what I need, what I really think.

But no ones noticed.

Nobody knows. Nobody cares. They can all claim otherwise, but its always a lie. Theres always someone that comes before me. With Niichan, its Kouhei-nee. Ichi-chan has Ai-san. Nami-chan has Kana-kun. Dori-chan has Machiko-sama.

It always happens. I think I find someone that will let me in, and then someone beats me to it.

I'm tired. Tired of hiding. Tired of being alone like this. But then, I'd just hurt them either way. I say how I feel, they'd get hurt. I go to rest, they'd get hurt.

Its not fair to me.

I'm sick of it.

Let me in?

Please?

Before my heart shatters?

Through Her Eyes

Sat, 05 Nov 2005 04:48:55 GMT

Note- The song used is 'Birdcage' by Gackt. Its not mine, I'm only borrowing it.

Time went on as slow as ever. Until one day, Machiko over heard a clear and beautiful voice singing gently. She slowly walked in the direction of the voice, forced to stop at her window. She was entranced at the voice. The song was familiar..

"Inside of the light, I saw my youthful memories.
They're still too far off for me, filthy as I am now. Inside of the darkness, I called your name over and over again. Inside of the endless time, there's no one there but you...

I lock myself up, unable to even atone.
I can't do anything but pray...my sadness is not cured

I tore off a single damp petal from a hydrangea...It floats in a puddle, and I remember you.

If I can't be forgiven, then everything can disappear.
The sadness and the pain, to the world that doesn't need anything.

I lock myself up, unable to even atone.
I can't do anything but pray...my sadness is not cured. From the gently crying sky, I also heard your voice. I laughed through gathering tears, but I couldn't see anything...

Inside of the light, I saw my youthful memories.
Even the soundless smile is happy right now.I can't return to that time ever again...When we were laughing"

But even more haunting than the song, was the voice of the young woman singing it. But no matter how hard she tried, Machiko couldn't place it. She was speechless, as she listened to the girl sing.

The moment the girl was done, Machiko clapped. "That was beautiful, Miss. You have a stunning voice."

The girl blinked in shock. She hadn't thought that anyone was around. "Um...thank you..." She shyly looked at the ground, unable to keep her eyes on Machiko.

"Machiko-sama! Your father wants you!" A maid came calling for Machiko, much to her dismay. She smiled, staring in the general direction of the girl. "Please come and sing for me again!"

As Machiko left, Irisa came running up. "There you are! I was wondering where you had gotten to." She smiled at the young woman, reaching for her hand. "Dori-chan, lets go."

Chidori smiled at Irisa. "Okay, Iri-chan."

A lil update

Thu, 03 Nov 2005 05:33:16 GMT

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 03:29:14 GMT

It was another six months before I finally came home. In all honesty, I don't know why I tortured myself for so long. So when I came home, I went straight to the one person that had single handedly driven me insane.

I opened the door, and went inside, to see Shii-chan and Sho'ki-chan. They took one look at me, and went running upstairs, calling for Chidori. "Dori-san! He's back, he's back!"

I watched Chidori come running down the stairs, delighted. Then when she came up to me, she slapped me as hard as she could, and started to cry.

"You stupid, stupid rat! I've been so worried!" She buried her face against my shoulder, and kept crying.

I felt like the worlds biggest heel. I selfishly went off, with out a trace, nary a word, not thinking of what I was putting her through.

All I could do was hold her, and apologise. The whole time, Shii-chan and Sho'ki-chan stood on the steps, watching amusedly, enjoying things at my expense.

It took Chidori the rest of the night to calm down. I sat with her, letting her be as close as she needed. She was crying over all the things that had happened during the year. Her brother had gotten sick, and had to move. The person that had given her the shop had passed away.

Needless to say, I felt even worse, if that was possible.

I promised to take her to see Kana, and visit the grave with her. It made her slightly happier. But I felt the best I had that whole year, when I heard her say, "I really missed you...Ao-kun, please...please don't do that again..."

Who am I to say 'No' to her?

Current Song Obsession

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 17:46:37 GMT

Take me out tonight
Where there’s music and there’s people
And they’re young and alive
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven’t got one
Anymore

Take me out tonight
Because I want to see people and i
Want to see life
Driving in your car
Oh, please don’t drop me home
Because it’s not my home, it’s their
Home, and I’m welcome no more

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

Take me out tonight
Take me anywhere, I don’t care
I don’t care, I don’t care
And in the darkened underpass
I thought oh god, my chance has come at last
(but then a strange fear gripped me and I
Just couldn’t ask)

Take me out tonight
Oh, take me anywhere, I don’t care
I don’t care, I don’t care
Driving in your car
I never never want to go home
Because I haven’t got one, da ...
Oh, I haven’t got one

And if a double-decker bus
Crashes into us
To die by your side
Is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck
Kills the both of us
To die by your side
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine

Oh, there is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out
There is a light and it never goes out

In Memories

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 02:29:15 GMT

Those in our family, have always asked me, just how I became so close to Reiten. 'Normally, Tsukasa-san and Reiten-san would be like oil and water...or like rain and the sun...'

I had first met Reiten a year before we were supposed to dance together at New Years. Both of us were trying to stall, not wanting to go. He told me that, 'Not everyone can see the good side of me like you can'There I was, a whole thirteen years old, and completely mystefied. This absolutely stunning boy, had the same sad eyes that I did.

With his encouragement, I ended up going to the Banquet as usual, and danced by myself. Tsune-chan hadn't shown up that year, or the year before. Hardly anyone would show up, other than say maybe myself, Kiyo-niichan, Yun-kun and Mina-chan, and occasionally, Kya-chan. The others didn't seem to care, and even back then, Koinu-chan was more often than not, too sick to leave home.

I didn't see him again, for a few months. It was by chance, or rather, by Yun-kun's stupidity.

Yun-kun and Reiten have never gotten along. Its more like a one-sided dislike with a passion. So imagine my surprise, when that damned chicken comes running past me, screaming, 'He's gonna erase your memory, Tsuka-chan! Run!!!!'

He was running from Reiten.

Its hard for most to see, but Reiten does show his emotions. His face may never show anything...but its all in those pale, blue-green eyes...And the look in his eyes nearly broke my heart. 'Why do they find me scary?'

So, I ran, but in the direction that Yun-kun came from. Reiten was shocked to see me, willingly coming up to him. Even more so, when I hugged him, and neither one of us transformed. I spent that whole afternoon by his side, introducing him to the others, that I knew would accept him. I even took him to see Niisama, and that went far better than I thought it would.

I was delighted to see that at the next Banquet, I would be dancing with my best friend. Despite my...displeasure of certain arrangements, it was the first time that I truly enjoyed myself at a Banquet.

As time went on, Reiten seemed to become more and more of a mystery. Its like the more time I spent with him, the less I learned about him.

But despite that, he's always been there for me. He's the only one, other than Koinu-chan, who can calm me down when I get upset. He listens to me, and lets me cry when I need to. He smiles so kindly, and laughs...truly laughs, when I'm near.

Oil and water may not mix. But in order for something to grow, it needs both light from the sun and water from the rain.

Or so I think.

Thorn in My Paws

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 00:51:07 GMT

Unlike the others, who are cursed with the spirits of the Western Zodiac, I have to be far more careful than most. Because I'm the 'Leo' of the family, if I were to transform in public, I could be killed.

However, the last time I transformed, I lost control. I was still a child at the time, only eleven years old, but nearly full grown as a lion.

I had been playing with some of the other children at the main house. But one of the girls bumped into me, causing me to transform. I was a 'brave' lion, but I was terrified. Children always know when animals are scared, and they used it against me. They chased me, jabbed and prodded me with sharp sticks, just being horrid little beasts.

Then one hit me on the face with a rock. I lost it, and chased the child. I ended up pouncing on him, ripping and tearing with my claws, until my parents arrived with Kohana-chan.

She wasn't scared of me. She just reached for me, with her small hands, and asked, "Oniisan, why are you upset?" Those little words, caused me to see what I had done. If I hadn't have stopped when I did, the boy would have died.

The days that followed were hell. They had to erase every single child's memory, and had to make up a story for the boys parents, as to why their son had been near clawed to death. Araki-sama was pissed, and punished me himself.

But that whole time, I kept wondering. Could I have turned and hurt Kohana-chan? I mean, its not that I like being this way. Do my parents and the others...Do they honestly believe, that I did that on purpose?

Even now, I still don't know. Thats why, I keep to my 'cave'. I don't allow myself, to potentially get into a situation, that could end like that.

Neko-ru

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 17:51:15 GMT

I don't need you anymore...

That was a lie, if I've ever heard one. Its been a week since I left Haru. And it still hurts like that moment...

I'm still trapped in this white hell. The only comfort I have is to go for walks. And even then, that hurts to do. So now, I am sitting on a bench, trying to get my mind off Haru, as impossible as that is.

'Nyow'

I look down and sitting at my feet is a kitten. A pathetically small thing, with dirty cow-spotted fur. Its almost enough to bring a smile to my face, and its almost enough to make me cry.

I tell it to go away, to go home, but it doesn't listen. It just clambors up next to me, and butts its head against my hands, almost saying, 'Rub me?'

I look at it, and tentatively stroke its soft fur. I don't know why I'm doing this...

A lil early, but oh wellys

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 00:20:47 GMT

My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul
analise_gregori goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as schoolgirl.
akiji gives you 16 teal coffee-flavoured jawbreakers.
birdboy2000 tricks you! You get a rock.
chocofunk gives you 12 teal raspberry-flavoured pieces of taffy.
hatoris_angel tricks you! You lose 4 pieces of candy!
hitchi gives you 7 dark blue pineapple-flavoured wafers.
kawaiiayu gives you 5 light yellow lemon-flavoured gummy worms.
kawaiitinita gives you 8 mottled green passionfruit-flavoured nuggets.
racheyface gives you 15 tan cherry-flavoured pieces of taffy.
rinandharu gives you 17 pink raspberry-flavoured wafers.
the_dimitri gives you 3 softly glowing cherry-flavoured pieces of taffy.
analise_gregori ends up with 79 pieces of candy, and a rock.
Go trick-or-treating! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

~ S i n g ~ F o r ~ A b s o l u t i o n ~

Binxy~

Blurf

*squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegasm*

Until the next life

Lah.

Lose Hope, All Ye Who Enter

Pets

Through Her Eyes

On Fire

Through Her Eyes

Through Her Eyes

Through Her Eyes

Through Her Eyes

Through Her Eyes

Nostalgia

Through Her Eyes

A lil update

Current Song Obsession

In Memories

Thorn in My Paws

Neko-ru

A lil early, but oh wellys

squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegasm